You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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