i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize