My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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