if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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