dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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