she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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