Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
