walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I had to cum in my sink.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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