All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
