she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
