OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
