Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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