I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize