I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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