At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
