what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
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