No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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