Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
