bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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