so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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