So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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