i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Even my vagina gasped.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
