I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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