We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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