She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize