i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
