Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
