she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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