my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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