Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize