You're my little dorito
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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