Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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