just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
only if we run a train.
done.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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