I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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