I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
