Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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