i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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