we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
