I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
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