physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
