you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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