I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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