it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
