So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
