I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
