I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
