If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
