I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
