i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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