Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I need water and some morals
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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