And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
