be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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