I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
