This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
