Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
