you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We have started to decorate penises.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
