So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
