First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize