if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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