having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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