is your mom at the bar?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize