I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
