i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
